if my heart could rock out

"I want you to want me.

I need you to need me.

Id love you to love me.

Im beggin you to beg me..."



"....Ill get home early from work if you say that you love me."



*i'm going to chronicle this...in case, something comes out of this...i wanna remember how it started hahaha (fine... i am banking on this.a lot. it's not everyday i find someone i really like)



Before the second meet up, I had a good conversation with my bff. I resolved that i had to find out. She added that if he was indeed in a relationship, i should completely bail out from this as early as now. I agreed of course.



Off to the meet up...

i got there early and when he got there, i was HAPPY.For a few moments, i wasn't lonely. i forgot why i was really there in the first place.



Anyway, he was in his uniform so i didn't get to gauge his taste in clothes...but if he is anything like his mom, i'm sure he dresses well)



small talk... i asked him bout his school...actually i was going more for his love life (is it just me or is it him??? do i appear to not have any slight interest at all?!?! it was easy to deduce what i really wanted to know)



it was awkward in the beginning, we could not even establish any eye contact (since we were sitting side by side). he was practicing (along side his dad) eversince he graduated then came back to manila for this 6-month apprenticeship



he was uber cute (i noticed that early on even if he was wearing this thing on his head and his mouth-- his eyes were enought to marvel at hahaha).our small talk was cut short because i was due to get on the seat. i was so nervous and giddy... that i babbled a lot.



i got on the seat. then the prep was started. by the way, he was assisting. Major awkward moment. Funny thing, as we were starting, for a minute he just stood there looking. The point person joked about it. i froze... why the hell was he staring...did he see something awfully wrong with me???? i was literally under the spotlight (but hey...i know i look my best in yellow light)



nothing exciting happened during the ops itself. i couldn't speak in my condition. then just when we were almost done, the point person had to go out for awhile... awkward...he was mumbling something. i wanted to see if he was texting anyone (i badly needed a sign).i was too frazzled to talk. the point person finally came back. at bout mid afternoon, the whole thing was ove. by then, i was at my worst possible physical state...face swelling and drooling (which he joked about..mean!haha that's how comfy we were with each other). he volunteered to call my mum to tell her i was done (was he rushing to get rid of me). i couldn't respond. i wanted to tell him to just text her. he's done more than enough for me. good thing the line was busy.so he texted her.

i stood up and went to the waiting room, filling up a form. he went out the ops room and excused himself (to the restroom)...and i was the one uncontrollably drooling..haha...we chatted some more while waiting for mum (he did most of the talking... i couldn't even feel my tongue at that point). finally my mum arrived, he offered his seat after "blessing" (such a well brought up person), i offered the seat at my other side (haha i moved a bit..a bit lang) haha

he was soo cute when we left. i gently patted his leg to say good bye.i think he said see you in two weeks (haha.. fine i'm putting too much into that standard statement). also, he also "blessed" sa dad ko (our families have long been friends).such a wonderful guy.

anyway, if you've noticed my lingering question wasn't answered that day...glum...but since i was a bullheaded person i forced the answer out of him through text..that same day too. this should be the subject of another post cause this one's way long...

as i said if my heart could rock out that's pretty much a clue