curse the day cellphones were invented!

after almost successfully surviving the day without texting him... i did! at about 9pm, i had a seemingly bright idea then..."***!i forgot to text this to you yesterday...(more gibberish)...it was really nice seeing you after **** years" - PATHETIC

i have this rather very unhealthy habit of crushing on impossible people (yes, at 20ish i still find myself frequently crushing on people...there goes my EQ)... let me see...married with kids, married, to be married, happily attached for more than five years...you name it...

perhaps this is the survivor instinct kicking in...fine "survivor" isn't the most fitting word..unless i equate being attached to death... anyway, as i was blogging, i always chose the road which will lead me to certainty...the certainty of nothingness...kudos once again to my EQ

mind you, my crush on him was on a verrrry superficial level.hell ive met him once.i didn't even get to have a good look at him since i met up with him not exactly for the most romantic of reasons (teeth talks)...i did remember his white shoes..hehe

but alas, given that i am innately curious... i googled his name and found about 5 friendster accounts under his name...all five had different status (gawd..was he that popular in college that people made phony accounts ) sadly, the most active of which had a picture of him and some girl (even for a text that sounded obnoxious) and the status read : In a relationship..hooray!

so there you go..i did text him..a very pathetic message...desperate right?!?! despite knowing that he is in a relationship and despite my bff's advice to not pursue the idea

but its far more complicated than that (im trying to justify my action)...you see prior to this meet-up, our parents have been trying to match us up...or so my mum says...and his mum insists...you could have heard the wonderful things my mum had to say about him...so what's the deal? how come it took me this long to meet up with him? i don't believe in match ups.... i prefer "new people".... the list goes on...

but seriously, if he's in a relationship what's the deal with the matchmaking!?!?!

don't dangle things (persons included) i can never have...poor me...and just when i thought my 2009 would be an exciting year (if you must know, im a ten steps ahead type of gal)

good thing i have this weird dynamics on having crushes...if you must know, its very simple...you heighten the emotions to the point of no return, then you ultimately find what's wrong with the person then alas its either you reach your satiation point (get irritable even with the mere idea of the person) or you simply get turned off...