gutt feeling

im seriously convinced that this year will be different! (life is half fate and half hard work)



with my renewed outlook in life



*yes, his effect is lasting...if only i could thank him personally... perhaps some other time... this ISN'T the best time (he hasn't been replying lately).



tomorrow's chinese new year...



and so today, i and a couple of good friends decided (actually i bullied them) to assume this mantra of saying "yes" to everything for one week starting tomorrow (of course, there are a few rules).



let's see how things go... am hoping for some great adventures for me and my fab friends!

cheers to a new year!

tonight we celebrate !

next please

the excitement has fizzled...

i text him just because... because i really feel that he's gonna be a swell buddy...

its funny having guy friends who've seen you at your worst (drool and all)... there's really no need to pretend... besides the expectations are set very low early on .hahahaha

but there's thing about guy friends in relationships...

if you meet them while they were single, most likely you'd be the least of their priorities (even if you're like the best of friends) when they get attached.

if you meet them when they're attached, i don't think you'll even get to create a legit friendship...bwahaha...

realizations. realizations.

before i forget... cliche...

"aanhin pa ang damo kung wala ng kabayo"

"what's the use of masterpiece if there's no one (yung ok naman ha..wag sino sino lang) to admire it"

bwahaha

so basically aside from being emotionally inept... feelingera din ako! love it!

p.s. im stopping myself from editing my past posts...there are quite a number of typos!

p.p.s tomorrow i'm gonna think about my life list with a new mantra inspired by the post of my bff.

life's a book

do you ever get the feeling that your life is a book...

that characters are constanly coming in., assuming various roles in your life.

you keep on guessing what role they'll play in your life and if they'll stick to that for the rest of who knows when... or will their characters evolve and become permanents facets to your life story.

characters...
there are some who pose some form of hope that they'll put just enough drama in your life.. there are some who'll keep you on your toes...
there are some who'll feel like your fave pair of jeans... familiar and comforting...
there are some who you can't wait to write off

then you flip from one chapter to another... at fate's pacing.

no matter how much you're itching to know the ending- you can't. because half the fun is in the journey to get to the end.

nevertheless, you are convinced. you are certain that this year will be different.

changes will be for certain.

except this time you'll be there with open arms, anxiously waiting for what is yet to come.

cure for the blues

who would have ever thought that the best cure for the blues are a couple of good movies and a bucket of cries.

yesterday, i went on a solo mini movie marathon of the movies i've been wanting to watch but haven't found the time to.

these were great films about women.... from friends to mothers and daughters.

its the type of movie which would make you hope that one day you and your friends would reach the same level of friendship. a comforting idea.

after the first one, i could feel my feminism and women empowerment genes kicking in again. i felt as if i was being reborn again. yey me!

i wish i could have thought of this days ago, this could have saved me from a lot of drama.harhar

there was also a common theme yesterday... the most common mistake of women is being too available. Men are hunters.

thoughts to ponder on ladies.

encore..curtains fall

good morning sunshine!

confession: a number of texts were exchanged after my most recent post last night.

more than ever it was reinforced that hes a really really good person. and loyal. (that kinda says it all).

semi-quoting "baka you see a brother in me kaya ganun! im happy din na after ** years, nagkita tayo ulit! Natouch naman ako dun!haha..."

"hehe. wala lang yun. di naman ganun iniisip ko. don't worry"

after more than a week (it felt like a year), i was genuinely thankful how things turned out. ( i literally blurted this out "thank you God. thank you.")

im not one to play games.

i cant even pull off the mysterious effect because if theres one thing about me that i love the most its that i am honest.

id rather lay down all the cards as early as now than go beating around the bush.

honesty is liberating. especially for an impatient person.

*i can't believe its only been a week (started: january 9)! i do "nurse" and "nurture" my feelings all too well.

after a week, i gained an awesome friend..a sibling... i had to ask him... given his sibling theory, hm...kuya? lil bro? sib? twin?... his last reply was...

semi-quoting: Ok goodnight twin sis!

confession numero dos: this is familiar ground... except that unlike most (past) guys who were itching to be in this stage with me were very vocal about what they felt... so as familiar as this is... its unchartered waters for me.

curtains fall

lets see if i can control myself from texting him til the 27th

easy come easy go

as easy as it started... it must now come to an end

i'll be ending it.afterall, im the only one who knows it even began.

happiness is a conscious choice as grumpyness is.

so tomorrow, i resolve to be happy.

ive nursed the feeling too much and too long and all too well...
because it made me write... write as if i meant every word...

needless to say ive gained more than enough from this.

its time to close this chapter and move on to the next

besides, i really cant bear to do this... im much better than this...

so tomorrow, i resolve to stop whatever this is

p.s.
what started as an innocent good bye text kinda became more than what i intended it to be...
far too honest for my taste...
kinda selfish too because i turned the tables on him...
the ball is now in his court.
thats if he even cares that the ball is in his court.

you made me thinking

NOTE: im jumping to another topic or post...kinda getting poetic at this point.

you made me thinking.

for the first time in 23 years...someone made me thinking.

you made me thinking.

ive always been a believer of love at first sight.

(gawd even saying that makes me barf..can anything get more cliche than this)

i knew the moment we met. i just knew.

amidst everything that was happening then, i knew.

perhaps i knew even then when i first heard about you.

but i was just plain scared.

i like how things were.

and so i pushed the thoughts at the back of my mind.

but i must admit, even then you made thinking .

you see, ive long decided on my future.

single or at most unmarried but attached.

no kids. absolutely no kids.

not even dreaming up my wedding.

but you made me thinking.

you seriously made me thinking .

in a matter of two meet-ups and a couple of text messages exchanged

texts, most of which i initiated.

all of which was in the context of two friends meeting up again after a long time.

because you just made me thinking.

whether or not something will come out of this

im glad and thankful.

simply because (as my friend aptly puts it) someone's finally pulling me out of my shell again,

whether intentionally or not,

thank you for being that someone.

so before things get more complicated.

most likely by my own doing.

since you are attached (happily i suppose)

and i'm (hopefully) just creating a (temporary) ripple in it.

because as much as you made me thinking

i can't bear to be responsible for turning your world upside down.

even if that would mean having you.

because after all you made me thinking.

if only i had known you a lil earlier.

when what would have only mattered was you and me.

and you may have made me thinking then.

or not.

fate has a funny way of writing our life story.

things happen when they ought to happen.

nonetheless, you made me thinking now.

so let me apologize as early as now

if i may cause undesevred ripple or two.

it may be selfish of me but you just made me thinking.

and i thought it was worth a try.

a risk i would have never taken years ago.

so let me also thank you as early as now

thank you because you simply made me thinking.