a matter of self preservation

i had a wonderful chitchat with a very good highschool friend early this morning (at the wee hours of the morning my time and mid-morning her time). My then frenemy and i keep in touch as much as we can, chatting about the good ole days (which pretty much includes updates on the lives of our other batchmates).

we talked about our lives, the theater, boys or men in our lives, and of course who did who. For some reason though, we found ourselves talking about a guy who both broke our hearts. We were down memory lane yet again. Then she reminded me about her most recent trip here wherein they sorta rekindled their friendship (hanging out one whole day). I could not remember her telling me about this! i was totally clueless (with a tinge of betrayal). so she had to gab about the whole thing again. Alas alas, mr. you broke our hearts was apparently attached even then (what's his deal?!?!? a couple of summers ago he was suddenly back in my life *textswise*. as in really back. but he never bothered to tell me that he and his a.k.a. bestfriend are together! that i'll never figure out).

Anywho, after that brief trip down memory lane i was obsessed about the girl again. I had to put a face to the name. Thanks to those sick social networks we get to efficiently stalk people.hahaha. I had to put a face to the name. While i was in the pursuit of putting a face to the name, i finally remembered this story. She did tell me about it as soon as we got hold of each other after the incident. I knew about it. I could even remeber what I exactly felt after the big revelation (seriously, like some sick puppy i knew even then that they were together, i was in simply denial).

to summarize: I forgot about the whole thing as a knee-jerk reaction, a matter of self preservation. As I learned during our psych class in college, we repress certain memories precisely to protect ourselves from the intense emotions that comes with these memories.

sidenote: I woke up a lil earlier than usual this morning. and guess what i did it. i cleaned up my phonebook. removed ceratin contacts. clean slate. tabula rasa.

UNinspired

ive been MIA for some weeks now.


primary cause: lack of time to think (that's refreshing to hear!) AND very very very uninspired!


i admit... men, boys or guys (semantics!) inspire me hahaha... at the very least inspire me to write. Mr. dentist did that precisely. sadly he's all in the past. Number permanently erased.


i would have wanted to return to the cyberworld with a fantabulous story... mind you...i waited and waited and waited..but to no avail... i am back with the same mediocre life story...


i was hopeful for a time though... cause there was a buzz in the office about a guy... a guy who's enamored by moi (haha im exaggerating of course)... i deduced this ok. but i think there really is a guy. as to who he is i have no clue. i first heard about the guy when i was chitchatting with the hubby of our mom figure in the office.


brief background:everyone in the office is convinced that i have the tendency to blow off my monthly check with my very unpractical bag purchases...haha and to top it all off everyone knows that i've been eyeing an LV bag for my bday...


i was joking about it with him (the hubby) asking him if he knew anyone who'd be fool enough to get me one. surprisingly, he said he actually knew someone. i kept composed (seemingly disinterested when here i am weeks later blogging bout it) and replied "go!basta walang kapalit. no strings attached". or something to that effect. that's basically the highlight of the story. i never bothered to ask more about the guy. i have to keep up with my infamous reputation. i mean if he really likes me come on make the move (then ill turn you down..kidding! or not!).

so that made me hoping. by that i meant he. not that i wanted him to profess his undying crush for me. it was more of knowing that someone remembered and made a gesture (grand)haha.

which reminds me (office romance). in my world, DOMs rule. not that i have a say in this. i came in with that structure in place. anyway, i was on the lift with my officemate. i forgot my id then so she had to loan me her fairly large envelope. I was hugging the said envelope (to hide the fact that i forgot my id) when in comes one of the DOM rulers. He stood next to me. Since he was our senior, we greeted him with much gaiety. after which he conveniently pionted (his fingertip touched the envelope and lingered there then off and back again) at the envelope i was hugging (right where my dairy area was located at the other side of the envelope) playfully asking what was inside it the joking later if there was money in it. Remaining polite, i looked at my officemate and then back to him and told him it was all papers. Then i gave him a cold shoulder and he finally gave up with his attempt for small talk and pretended to text instead. A few days after there was a blind item on a similar incident that happened on the vip lift but between the (who had similar features) lift operator minus the protective envelope barrier and the said DOM (who was in a blind item earlier this year for attempting to make a move on his staff with similar features again)

rubbish entry i know. im just forcing myself to post an entry to get back in the game.

i need inspiration!come to me please! i need you! mr. made to order, i'm praying for you to pop into my life ! GIVE ME INSPIRATION!

what's the word... Mamihlapinatapai

Mamihlapinatapai (sometimes spelled mamihlapinatapei) is a word from the Yaghan language of Tierra del Fuego, listed in The Guinness Book of World Records as the "most succinct word", and is considered one of the hardest words to translate.[1] It describes "a look shared by two people with each wishing that the other will initiate something that both desire but which neither one wants to start."
The word consists of the reflexive/passive prefix ma- (mam- before a vowel), the root ihlapi (pronounced [iɬapi]), which means to be at a loss as what to do next, the stative suffix -n, an achievement suffix -ata, and the dual suffix -apai, which in composition with the reflexive mam- has a reciprocal sense.
It is also the title of a song by the American singer-songwriter Ronny Cox.[2]

* a friend posted this..and its so worth reposting