honesty pill

yesterday, i think i took the honesty pill by accident.

i've always been honest, calling things as i saw them.

but laying it all out is not for the weak-hearted (be it the receiver or the giver) but the risk of receiving a major blow is compensated by the fact that it comes from a good place. it really also helps that those who are in receipt of your honesty are friends who you know for sure will take the right way.

if i had snot on my face i would want my friend to pinpoint it rather than letting me walk in public with the snot on my face.

pleasant surprise..ses....

days ago i was experiencing my annual christmas jitters, the season when i feel the loneliest.

then i had a conversation with Him, and finally admitted to myself what i felt and wanted.

the classic story of simply submitting yourself to the greatest power there is.

days go by, and i get a pleasant surprise. a delightful surprise that has yet to unravel itself so i can fully appreciate it.

its way too early in the game to be all caught up with the whole deal, but its refreshing to see myself get excited again.

as i said, its a much welcomed channge.

Never been kissed

There's the movie and then there's me. While drew had never been really kissed, i simply have never been kissed.

I had a rather odd dream two nights ago- i got my first official kiss with an even odder choice, mr. fuzzy feeling.

so here's how it went. me and my 2 best gals came over to his house to hang (not that we hang out in reality). we were watching the tely on a bed with a pullout. my other best gal was lying beside mr. fuzzy feeling while i was on the pullout. they were whispering the whole time (i'm not sure what i felt at this point). then we decided to leave. On our way out, his mom and grandmom went in his room. i barely remember this part of the dream. what i do remember is that his mom and grandmom were telling me that it was me... after all these time, it was still me. the other girl was just a bestfriend hahahahaha. drumroll... then the even weirder part, i came down and saw him with his friends (or was it his groupmates?). by the way, he was donning his med uniform!


anywho, he left his friends and handed me white choco flavored reese mini cups (is there such a thing?). he gave me half of the bag's content- about 8 pieces. we ate one piece each and i kissed him. with both mouths filled with chocolate . awkward. after our quick awkward kiss i left and told him i'd think about it. then the dream went to an abrupt end as i finally woke up at 4am

so that's the story of my first kiss, my extremely awkward "dream" kiss.

More on Mr. Fuzzy

Mr. fuzzy feeling is the one that got away.

The one guy I’ll never have.

Its excruciating waiting for the day when I’ll finally hear from a common friend that he is getting married.

Then he’ll truly be the guy I’ll never have.

Like a hard lesson to learn, I never got my head around the idea why things ended.

If I had one token for a rewind, I’d go back to that day..

I can vividly remember that day.

I’m sure he’s tucked that memory along with the other flings he had,

Mr. Fuzzy feeling will always always always have that power over me,

Even if there’ll be another guy who’ll have that fuzzy feeling effect on me.

He'll still be a part of my life(the sad reality I’ve long accepted)

fuzzy feeling

to the guy who gave me that fuzzy feeling...

you'll always always have that same effect on me...

sad but true.

secretly wishing

sometimes i wish i made a few more mistakes in the past.


thought a lot less and acted more.


one day, everyone will wake up to the great surprise that i've been keeping a love affair under wraps for years now. ha!that's a laugh!


then i'd get to skip all the awkward phases and petty complications that come with brewing relationships.


but, then again, i'd also miss out those youthful giddy feelings that come with the package.


one item (in the life list) at a time.

Anthem of my life

"Soulmate"

Incompatible, it don't matter though
'cos someone's bound to hear my cry
Speak out if you do
You're not easy to find

Is it possible Mr. Loveable
Is already in my life?
Right in front of me
Or maybe you're in disguise

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Here we are again, circles never end
How do I find the perfect fit
There's enough for everyone
But I'm still waiting in line

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

If there's a soulmate for everyone

Most relationships seem so transitory
They're all good but not the permanent one

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
If there's a soulmate for everyone